A dream I carried for two decades...... finally lived it!

 

As a seafarer’s wife, you carry a quiet wish in your heart - to step into his world. Not just hear about it over a video call, but be there to see what he sees, feel what he feels and understand the life he lives at sea.

And last week, God finally ticked it for me.

It all started as just a chance. My husband’s vessel was arriving for cargo operations and would be at anchor for a couple of days in my city. With Diwali approaching, I had already ordered sweets and fairy lights for the crew - small things to bring a little festive warmth on board. And quietly, I hoped for one thing - a chance to visit.

After nearly missing the opportunity, everything came together at the very last minute. My heart was fluttering and my mind was racing. I was finally going to meet my husband, Capt. Rajesh Kumar Todiwan, in his element; to see him at work and experience his world.

I’m deeply grateful to GAC Shipping, especially Prashant, whose professionalism and care helped make this visit possible. He and his team – Sanjeev and Mukesh truly went above and beyond.

On the day, I left home with my boys, barely able to contain my excitement. We reached Yellow Gate on time, completed the formalities and were taken by a small boat to MT Bow Endeavor, anchored amid busy cargo operations. Barges lined both sides of the vessel and she stood out proudly among the ships around her - a majestic sight! The colour makes it the centre of attraction and Odfjell logo is unique, can’t miss it. Among a sea of vessels this one was the focal point!

Third Officer Ivo was there to welcome us. Then came my first-ever climb up a pilot ladder. What an experience! The crew at the main deck guided and encouraged me all the way. Their words were similar to the anaesthetist who got me ready for a c section delivery, it was that soothing. I climbed first, followed by my sons….and we made it aboard. An adventure we’ll never forget.

We arrived around lunchtime and were warmly welcomed by Chief Engineer Petar, whom I had met earlier and now consider a friend. It was lovely to see the genuine bond he shares with my husband. It was also wonderful meeting Chief Officer Junaid, Second Engineer Ivegen, Second Officer Kenneth, Third Officer Guzman, and ETO Win Htay.

The kitchen and mess team; Janu Balkrishna and Ketan, looked after us so kindly. Over lunch with the officers, we exchanged stories, learned about their routines and began to get a glimpse of life on board.

Then my husband showed me around the vessel. Fresh from dry dock, she looked magnificent and so did he, sporting his captain’s beard! It was a new look for me, but some looks simply grow on you.

And one more thing that really touched my heart - the ship has a new gym and so well equipped! I saw it - treadmill, cycling, weights, rowing, everything. With motivating words on the walls; TRAIN HARDER — NO EXCUSES, NO PAIN NO GAIN and many more. I smiled seeing it.

You know, for our seafarers who stay onboard for months, away from home, this is not just a gym. This is so much needed. For their health, for their fitness and for their mental well-being. After a long watch, after 24x7 cargo work, this small facility gives them a place to release their stress, to stay positive, to stay strong… to feel the adrenaline rush. So thank you to the management of OSM Thome; when I spoke about this to my husband he said the support from superintendent, the vessel manager makes all this possible so thank you to Jurica Mustac for thinking about the crew like this and providing this facility. It really shows you value your people.

I tried to take a little nap, wanting to experience even the ordinary moments of life on board. From the captain’s office, the city looked vibrant. But inside me, the feelings were even more vivid, I felt 16 all over again, a girl truly in love with life and the world around her.

You know, I am doing this for the first time ever since our marriage, 21 years ago. In fact, I am so grateful to OSM Thome for this opportunity. It was about 4 years ago I first visited hubby onboard an Odfjell vessel - MT Bow Neon. It was a very short visit, but what an experience it was; My moment of truth and something I’ll cherish all my life. No one forgets the first WOW experience!

Then I was lucky to get two more opportunities for short, touch-and-go type of visits on Bow Palladium and then Bow Endeavor.

This was my fourth visit and, as they say, fourth time lucky. It was different. This time I got to STAY. Just for a night though, but it was home. And again, it was an Odfjell vessel. Somewhere I feel my stars have aligned with Odfjell and OSM Thome. Hubby has been sailing for over three decades... but only when he joined OSM Thome, I got the opportunity to visit his world. So you see why I love this organisation…

When hubby gets offers from other companies, I wish he doesn't consider them no matter how exciting they are. Because this is an organisation that values its people. But somewhere I also feel organisations need to value the older people within the organisation who are loyal. They are the pillars.

Taking the round of the vessel, meeting crew the trainer in me was quite active both sharing knowledge and absorbing new learnings from them.

But the greatest joy was having our children there. They could finally see what their father’s work is really like. They saw that life at sea is demanding, disciplined and full of responsibility. Cargo operations were underway around the clock. Watches had to be managed carefully, every important detail reported and the work never truly stopped.

My husband was busy even taking a watch so his officers could rest. In just 24 hours, I learned so much more about my husband and about the life of a seafarer. I saw the professionalism, simplicity and brotherhood. I felt how deeply home and family are missed, and how a familiar face from shore can lift everyone’s spirits.

The crew came from five different nationalities, yet they shared one purpose: to operate safely, care for one another and protect the environment. That’s when I understood even more clearly; seafaring isn’t just a job. It’s an entire world out there at sea.

And for one beautiful night, it was my world too.

Thank you, OSM Thome. Thank you to every crew member who made me and my boys feel so welcome. We’ll carry this memory in our hearts. I must add a note of gratitude and appreciation for Gilbert, Nelbert, Rainier, Patrick, Deepesh, Mohd. Hasnain, Harrish, Martyn, Karthik, Indreesh, Pedro, Sandip, Rene for being a wonderful team.

And now, I have a new dream: to sail with my husband one day. Fingers crossed! Its but human nature to aspire for more fulfilling experiences. In today’s time people pay for experiences and in my industry we value these so much.

With a heart full of gratitude.

Fair winds and following seas!

Behind Every Ship, There’s a Heart Waiting at Shore

They call us “shippy wives”

It sounds simple. But behind those words lies a world of adjustments - holding down the fort alone, celebrating birthdays on video calls, marking festivals missing someone very special and whispering prayers before every voyage.

I’ve always believed: “We don’t just marry a man. We marry the sea too.”

Because when he sails, a piece of our heart sets sail with him.

Every seafarer who joins a ship makes a silent vow: “I’ll come home safe and sound to my loving family”

The sea demands a lot - from them and from us.

The past few months in the seafaring world have been especially challenging.

Tensions in Gulf region, longer voyages, fatigue and the relentless battle against loneliness.

The world sees goods on shelves, but it doesn’t see the engineer in a scorching engine room or the officer on a dark bridge, vigilantly watching so the rest of us can sleep peacefully knowing we have our supplies being met.

It’s a tough job - one of the hardest.

What We Need Most Is Assurance -  and a Promise Kept

When your loved one is an ocean away, all you want to hear is: “Are they safe? Are they cared for? Will they return the same way they left not just physically but emotionally too?”

I heard something from OSM Thome’s Group Managing Director, Mr. Tommy Olofsen, on the SMI Podcast with Ship Management International: “We make a promise not just to the seafarer, but also to their family -  to bring them home in the same condition they set sail, if not better.”

It’s a simple phrase, but it embodies everything.  It’s a promise carried every day not just once a year, but on every voyage, for every seafarer and every family waiting at shore.

That moment stayed with me.

Grateful to Ms. Karla, for reminding that duty of care isn’t just a word in a manual. Also thinking of Sanja who was always accommodating and caring for her seafarers, I loved the connection she had with the teams she was managing. I only knew these people through conversations they had with hubby and they have remained the face of the company for me. This adds to the list of people I met at the seminar last year Mr. Ranga, Capt. Mehta and the training team Mr. Devesh, Preksha, Michelle, Bruce and so many others. Many from Mumbai office Chetan, Mansi, Saroja and Maniraj whom I know personally and appreciate their professionalism. Maritime industry is very different and needs different ways of handling, an art that will always require appreciation when it is due. As it is said that catch people doing the right things rather than just look for opportunities to complain when something goes wrong. I am an advocate of the same, have learnt this through experience as I have been working in the people industry for almost three decades.

One Ocean, One Thread 

I’ve had the privilege of meeting seafarers - my husband’s colleagues from different nations: Croatian, Montenegro, Filipino, Ukrainian, Bangladeshi, Indian, European. And you know what? They are all the same.

Gentlemen. Simple. Kind.

Tough on the outside because the sea demands resilience. But soft and vulnerable on the inside.

They miss home just as we do.

Share food, cover each other’s watches, celebrate events - birthdays, festivals and everything worth celebrating.

Nationality fades away onboard; out there, they are just ‘crew’- a great team.

Some have become like a family Capt. Mikic, C/E Petar and Ruslan and the list keeps getting longer. So glad to have met them. In fact the person who recieved me onboard on my first visit to hubby's ship was C/E Ciprian, he created an exceptionally wonderful moment of truth and Capt. Mikic was a perfect gentleman. Finally saw my man and there was the happiness of seeing a loving husband and a wonderful master mariner Capt. Rajesh Kumar Todiwan.  Grateful for their love, care and enthusiasm. In fact Petar feels like one of our own boys. That’s the common thread that unites us all - at sea and ashore.

To Every Family Waiting 

If your sailor is away right now:

1. 1. Your worry is love. It’s a sign of your deep care.
   2. Ask questions. The right people will answer honestly.
   3. Cherish the small things. A picture, a ‘reached safely’ message, a voice note.

And to the companies listening: a brief, honest update to a family provides months of strength. A promise kept offers peace of mind.

We shippy wives may be quiet, but we are strong.

We pack the bags. We keep the home. We nurture faith.

And we wait - because behind every ship, there’s a heart waiting at shore.

And that heart believes: “All’s well.”

To all sailors and every seafarer - stay safe.

The sea is vast, but you are never alone. And we at home are never alone either.

Sailor’s Girl – My Journey and a Call to Seafarers' Wives

Hello, I’m Laxmi Todiwan, founder of Indian Women in Hospitality, a professor, learning and development leader, author and passionate storyteller. Earlier, I have had the privilege of sharing the inspiring stories of women in the hospitality industry on my website www.theiwh.com ,which are also beautifully documented in my book ‘Illuminating Her Way: Indian Women in Hospitality’. Now, I want to turn my focus to another incredibly important and close to my heart aspect of my life - being a sailor queen. This new chapter is about shining a light on the resilient women married to seafarers, exploring their uncharted stories, challenges and triumphs and creating a platform where their voices can be heard and celebrated.

Married to a Master Mariner, I’ve spent years navigating the unique world of life at sea and the women who stand silently strong on land, waiting and managing life’s challenges. My own experiences have shown me how these women embody resilience, patience and unconditional love, often living in the shadows of the vast ocean. 

With Sailor’s Girl: Stories of the Uncharted, I aim to bring these stories to the forefront. I want to understand the unspoken bonds, the struggles and the triumphs of women married to seafarers - those who face long separations, cultural shifts and personal sacrifices, yet remain the unsung heroes of the maritime world. 

This platform is a space for connection, reflection and celebration of these remarkable women. If you are a sailor queen with a story to tell - whether it’s inspiring, heartfelt or even challenging - I invite you to share your journey. Let’s explore the uncharted territories of your experiences together. 

These stories will help sailor queens and seafarers better understand their lives and challenges. They may also provide comfort and insight to others facing similar difficulties, creating a sense of nostalgia and pride for those sharing. Additionally, sharing these experiences can serve as valuable insights for shipping companies, helping them understand their workforce better and develop more holistic, supportive work environments. 

It’s a win-win for everyone - women, seafarers and the maritime industry alike. Join me as we uncover the stories of the women behind the ships, because their stories deserve to be heard. Reach out, connect and be part of this voyage into the uncharted waters of the seafarer’s world. I look forward to hearing from you.